Sunday, November 1, 2009


Boy Am I Tired of Hurricanes

Lovely Rita, hurricane.

Apparently another one of these CNN events is touching down tomorrow and Sean Penn has been dropped from a B12 to fist fight it.

It's been around three weeks and Katrina is still selling SUVs and pharmaceuticals on every major television station in the United States.

I don't know what my point is here, but something's annoying me.

Sure, I hope this teaches us all a lesson and that the President gets trounced for this; but, I'm getting this ugly feeling like I all of a sudden should have respect for Anderson Cooper and Aaron Brown.

And they're swine.

Maybe I'm just cynical, but doesn't it seem like these guys can barely cover their hard ons for disaster with their triple Gortex rainslickers?

Meanwhile the Mayor of New Orleans and Aqua Man – er, the Coast Guard dude were telling evacuees to find a shorter distance between two points by being in two different places at the same time.

If you look real close you can see the Director of Fema and the mayor of New Orleans pointing oversized, foam fingers at each other in the backdrop the President used for his glorious speech.

Was that speech peppered with reminders of 9/11? I mean, did the President actually sprinkle the speech with references to his amazing performance on 9/11 to remind us that he once tricked us with his glamour? I mean, could he really be using one tragedy to get over on another?

I was waiting for him to use the analogy "And the hurricane came down on New Orleans like two terrorists planes hitting the Twin Towers on 9/11." Then, maybe he'd pull his bullhorn out and Guiliani would come and blow him as he hugged some starving homeless person.

But, no, it wasn't quite as sleazy as I would have expected from Karl Rove.

Back in Washington, congress grilled what looked to be an automaton with a law degree. Democrats aimlessly tried to show that they weren't letting this one go without a fight and Republicans secretly stroking themselves in the hope that abortion will soon be as legal as outing CIA agents.

But, boy could that man hold his tongue. I bet McCain was secretly thinking to himself "Man, that guy woulda outlasted me in Nam."

Oh well. News is news. Pretty soon a Democrat will be back in office and it'll be blowjobs and healthcare for eight years.

Bush, if nothing else, you may be the most entertaining President since Nixon.



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