Sam Nunn, Pulled Out of Retirement Magician

No. No. This will be different. I WON'T play Mary Had a Little Lamb at the Bris.

It's been awhile since I've been on stage. I had some magic in my own life recently - my wife disappeared with all my money! Ha, just joking. But really, I had an oxi problem and tried to kill myself.

I've opened for Doug Hennig, Gallagher, and that other - Copperfield. My wife also opened for Copperfield, but in a different way.

So, UHF show, how are you folks? Oh, sorry, UFC. Shit, I mean USO. Sorry cadets.

So, you kids don't think unicorns exist, huh? Well, check this out - it's OK, it's my horse and that's red glue, calm down Mr. Ferguson.

Look, Lady - Yes, I've been drinking, but no I did not pull a swtichblade on your son. It was a switchblade comb. A really, really, really sharp switchblade comb.

No. No. You said you wanted magic. I don't care if my website has Harry Potter on it and says that I am that kid from Harry Potter and that I'll stay for two hours - I'm Sam Nunn and I'm a magician and that's what you're gonna pay me 5000 dollars for.

Kids, your friends might tell you that magic isn't cool when you get older, but check this out! That's a fifty dollar bill for an hour of magic. You know what you can buy with fifty dollars? Of course you don't, but when you get older I'll tell you.

I will now pull a rabbit out this top hat. Watch. Ta da! And this rabbit! And this rabbit! And - why is there so many rabbits and blood?

I will now make this bottle of whiskey disappear!

I imagine you would like this balloon shaped like a BALLOON!

A magician never tells his secrets. But - once I picked a woman's nose while she was sleeping and ate it.