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Episode IV: A New Hope On Monday I had an ugly moment. Hung over from a night of boobs and beer at Hooters, I walked passed the rag of polls...
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Wanna See a Dead Body? Dead bodies are falling off our President like lice. You have the ones wearing our flag, the ones firing at our flag...
Ask Me About Jesus
Ask me About Jesus So, I see this car out in the parking lot and it says "Ask me about Jesus." I thought to myself, "What is ...
More Poop
Can We All Agree that the World is Poop? "Absolution and a frozen room are the dreams of men below." - Ministry, Burning Inside Gr...
Funeral Plans For My Goldfish
Funeral Plans for my Goldfish 2001 Monday, June 7 • 10 a.m. PDT: Goldfish tank is removed from the top of my fireplace. Tank is drained and ...
Ancient American Email
Sent: Tuesday, July 13, 2010 5:10 PM This story is actually an ancient American myth used to provoke the boss to leave. ____________________...
Do Not Disturb Me During My Fucking Lunch
No matter how good or bad this lunch is, do not fucking disturb me during it. Yes, I understand that you have a pressing matter that needs m...
Interactions
It would be better if you didn’t do that. Seriously, stop it. I’m really not joking anymore. You need to stop doing that. OK, now I’m totall...
Another Pitch to the Producers
How about a children's movie about animals? MATT ECKERT PRESENTS A CHILDREN'S MOVIE ABOUT ANIMALS 1. I demand that this be claymat...
Ohmysorita
The Thoughts of the Porno Actor Oh, man. How long can I keep doing this? Jesus. OK, OK. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." Man, that really didn...
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Nothing
The Maker's Diet
Panasonic
Sci Fi Movie About the Future
Kennedy and Jackson Share a Beer in the Afterlife ...
He Sewed His Eyes Shut
Lunchmeat World
Defamation
Newspapers
Mutton Hunger
Hair Trimmings
Oday
Tha Tha
Smart People
Four Enclosed Walls
District Nine Review
So Say the Recipe
Shape Up
Fishing for Bait
Canadian PM Declares France a Colony
Big Foot Larry
O'Hare
Check Out My Free Health Care
This is Not a Saga
More on More
I Want to Make Love to Your Donkey
That Time Indians Stole My Money
That's How It Felt.
Alien Magflies Deforest Bridge
WE CAN'T STOP THE BONANZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm Only One
The Hedrowcliff
Garfield's Diary
Good Luck Making Sense of This
Crushed with Red Pepper
C.S. Lewis was a Cunt
A Grand Post It Note
Additional Names
Billy Crystal's Hairy Ballsack Makes Another Appea...
Sex with a Dead Hooker
Hillary Swank Eats Children
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About Me
Levi Larrington
View my complete profile
Thursday, August 27, 2009
He Sewed His Eyes Shut
I washed the car today.
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