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Episode IV: A New Hope On Monday I had an ugly moment. Hung over from a night of boobs and beer at Hooters, I walked passed the rag of polls...
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Wanna See a Dead Body? Dead bodies are falling off our President like lice. You have the ones wearing our flag, the ones firing at our flag...
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Ask me About Jesus So, I see this car out in the parking lot and it says "Ask me about Jesus." I thought to myself, "What is ...
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Can We All Agree that the World is Poop? "Absolution and a frozen room are the dreams of men below." - Ministry, Burning Inside Gr...
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Funeral Plans for my Goldfish 2001 Monday, June 7 • 10 a.m. PDT: Goldfish tank is removed from the top of my fireplace. Tank is drained and ...
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Sent: Tuesday, July 13, 2010 5:10 PM This story is actually an ancient American myth used to provoke the boss to leave. ____________________...
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No matter how good or bad this lunch is, do not fucking disturb me during it. Yes, I understand that you have a pressing matter that needs m...
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It would be better if you didn’t do that. Seriously, stop it. I’m really not joking anymore. You need to stop doing that. OK, now I’m totall...
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How about a children's movie about animals? MATT ECKERT PRESENTS A CHILDREN'S MOVIE ABOUT ANIMALS 1. I demand that this be claymat...
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The Thoughts of the Porno Actor Oh, man. How long can I keep doing this? Jesus. OK, OK. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." Man, that really didn...
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May
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- Stay
- Liquid love Drops from above. There's nothing here...
- Multi Billion Mega Bucks
- April 21
- It's just if I lose you for awhile I'll burn on re...
- Aren't you the shining star. Jesus, with those thi...
- A cup of tea Stands on a placemat beside me.
- Aboard the S.S. Going Down We all sink We sink eve...
- Every now and again would be swell Every now and a...
- YOU THOUGHT I WAS SERIOUS
- Cinderella in the grass, Dingleberries cling to my...
- GETTING INJECTED FOR MY PET SCAN; EDDIE'S APPROACH...
- Sometimes I wish I were in Delaware, Sometimes I w...
- A MAN WAITING AROUND FOR NOTHING
- DIMATAPP BLUES PT.2
- The cold medicine got me high, But only for a bit....
- Harvested hair On desert skin, Highways of tubing ...
- Harvested hair On desert skin, Highways of tubing ...
- I have to clean the house to look like my neighbor...
- A Man Waiting Around for Nothing
- Tables and glassware for sale! Tell the FBI agent ...
- Ashes in infinity Coffee grounds in the afterlife,...
- Get some sort of enough Enough to make you tough
- Swimming Dead Yard
- A Letter to his Child, Moonbeam
- There in the bar Dead souls Wanting more They can ...
- Twelve men from Belsen Ran through the hollow fiel...
- Off away They heard transport And tanks. Occasiona...
- 2 Barrelled Bessie
- Purple Plastic Mirrors
- I ride in my blue car I got a Mexican girl (Almost...
- THE BEAST Front and center, Save some face, Bible...
- Oct. 16, 1996
- WHAT HAVE THY DONE? When teh blood seeps to, It t...
- NO PILLOW
- STUCK I hate piranhas.
- I broke the last tie, I exchanged this bondage on ...
- BRING UP, BRING DOWN You water the flowers Till t...
- METABOLICEXTENSION CORD Metabolic masturbation, N...
- THE FINAL SOLUTION Anyways, the way to go is thro...
- Butterflies are few, And flies are plenty, Butterf...
- In my mind I'm masturbating All the time If I know...
- Writing The End
- Sell me the booze Pull me over, I lose Any estimat...
- Picked me up at about ten into the canopy I steppe...
- Screwdrivers and beers So many wasted years Fuel t...
- Waitresses waiting for a tip. The video games The ...
- The alcohol lay in the freezer The beer in the fri...
- March 8 Cottage grow cold Bread into mold And drun...
- It was a Wednesday. There we sat, Hands in lap, I ...
- Interview
- And therefore The flood of the lower plains Was re...
- At the bar She'll suck your dick Or trade her car ...
- Fritz found Gable Martin found Heinrich Rupert fou...
- All twelve Made it Through To take jobs And homes ...
- Back from the rehab. To the phone cord On the othe...
- How long have you been having these dreams? They c...
- Writing bad checks And causing car wrecks. Drinkin...
- Phone calls after midnight Coffee Coffee Coffee Si...
- Writing Movies Pizza Burritos Salsa Chips Cheese d...
- These are: The Black Light Poems
- Joy was of no joy She played with me Like strings ...
- From never call again To what are you doing tonigh...
- The Constitution Studying the Constitution is a b...
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