Staind

- Chewing ice is a sure sign of colon cancer.

- Factoids about the power rock group Staind are misleading and unrepresentative of the band.

- Altered dimensions will be created in the year 2021. These dimensions will be made up of altered realities that will bleed into our own world when a super collider is run "for the sheer hell of it" by a drunk named Mell Potacki of Yonkers, New York to impress one Sally Hemmings of Mesa, New Mexico.

- Somewhere, outside of this room, I will look back and laugh.

- Saturday no longer exists.

- Small rodents have invaded the grain silo and are eating the baby's college fund.

- Birds and helicopters defy physics; but, not in that order.

- Uncooked pork will give you worms. These worms are called Henry and Linda and they will redecorate your colon in mute colors that will extenuate the shit stains. One day they will rise up and escape and buy Hummers and drive over homeless people and vote Republican and buy John Tesh.