WTF????

K, so here are my secks stories. They are all lame, but see comments for why I am publishing them.

Anal:

Done a bunch with an ex. But, see the trouble with anal is two part: 1) You get shit on your dick and the smell wafts up. It has nothing to do with hygiene, it's just when you put a good amount of lube inside a woman's butt, and you stir it with your dick...well you get the picture. 2) I like the woman on top when I come. It may sound strange, but when I'm doing all the work it's hard to get myself into the zone of coming. So, therefore, I can't finish from behind. I'm sure there's a way to do anal with the woman on top, but I haven't tried it. Also, I'm really into looking at a woman's face while I'm "on the job," so there you go.



Threesome:

The closest I came was with an ex and when went over to this cokehead chick's place. So, she gets us coke and we're doing a few lines and all of a sudden she asks my girlfriend if she would like to try on some lingerie.
I'm like "it's on!" So, they both start posing lingerie for me. At some point in time, I go out to get some CDs and ask my girlfriend if she's into a threesome. She's all for it and I'm raring to go. Well, we go back in and I start trying to nudge the cokehead into it with hints like "So, you ever have a threesome, been with a girl, etc." and she's not really taking the bait. So, I'm thinking this is fucked.

What are my options? Well, it's either me or my girlfriend who have to make a deliberate pass. My girlfriend isn't and this cokehead chick is going on about some afterlife test or some shit. So, it's up to me. The problem is, if I make a pass at this woman, the next day I'm going to catch hell from my girlfriend for making a pass at her. Trust me. Even though we both wanted the threesome, the second I make a pass it will be remembered. Especially if she doesn't go for it. So, long story short, and hour later I'm too coked up to even think about sex and we're taking her afterlife test.

Apparently, I'm an "old soul." So, maybe I've had shitloads of threeways and don't remember.



Lesbian sex:



I'm not a chick, so I haven't had lesbian sex.