Eight is not enough

Eight is NOT Enough

Dear Tom Bradford,

For fuck sakes, man! What the hell is this "eight is enough" shit? You think eight is enough? Buddy, I mean, I know your wife died and all, but you're back in the saddle, you got a new hoe and the whole bit.
So, Tom, what the fuck? Eight? No, Tom, you gotta keep FUCKING!
Look, Tom, good Christians know that birth control is the spawn of Satan – but, goddamn, Tom, you got to bone your wife some more!
I mean, the proof is in the pudding: Mary, David, Joanie, Nancy, Elizabeth, Tommy, and Nicholas. What more could you ask?
Another fucking eight!
Tom, take a good look at Abby. She's your second bitch up in there and she's just asking to be taken from behind. Tom, you need to get another eight Hitler Youth-esque drone children into the world.
Tom, take it from me: there is far too little feathered haired, blonde, Hitler Youth children in the world today. Hell, some of them are all mixed up into all sorts of weird colors.
Tom, we need you. You and your precious seed.
So, Tom, please, for the love of God – you need to give Abby a trouser full of beef and put some more little toeheads into the mix that is Mother Earth.

Thanks,
Dick