Tidal

Hate People who Take the Elevator Down or Take it up Only One or Two Floors

Immediate execution! Seriously. If I was head-king of America, I would call for the genitalia of these cretins and I would hang it on my huge diamond encrusted castle.
K, so here's the story:
I work in a P, 1, 2, 3 building.
The only time it should be acceptable to take the elevator is if you are going from P to 3, up. Or, if you are handicapped, but you have to be really handicapped, none of this pussy neck injury or bad knee shit.
Otherwise: you should walk your ass up the two floors up max, or three floors down max.
But, its not just this – it's the people.
Like adults who drink chocolate milk, you can generalize these fuckers too.
They're normally fat.
Now, being fat is no big deal, but these people are the kind of fat that flaunt it. The kind that not only take an elevator up one floor, they rub their laziness in. They'll get on the elevator at 1, and the damn thing will nearly plummet under their weight, but at the same time, they'll have all this fucking food and a mug the size of a midget full of Pepsi.
If they're really annoying, they'll have something like a burrito, pizza, and a ham sandwich, fries, chips, and then a Diet Coke.
Fucking Diet Coke? Why the fuck? I mean, all you have to do is take the damn chips out of the program and you could have the regular coke and it'd be the same caloric value.
But, no, you need to make that statement that you're doing something to change things...LIKE TAKING THE FUCKING ELEVATOR UP ONE FUCKING FLOOR!
Look, I'm not a monster. But, when I'm on that elevator, I make sure that I'm riding the entire building up, or I don't take it.
So, when I'm going up P, 1, 2, 3 I normally have to stop at each and every floor, because some dirigible with a frosty mug full of milk shake and a tub of fries needs to avoid the one flight of stairs it takes them to get where they're going.
I think the only time I really can feel my brain bleed is when these fucks will take it DOWN one floor. Like the physical exertion of walking DOWN a flight of steps is going to kill you.
But, even worse than this is the dumb fucker who doesn't know where they're going. It's a P – 3 building and these fuckers will push every floor, just in case they get lost again.
"Oopps, wrong floor, lucky I pushed all four buttons, including the one I came up on."
Fucking dirtbags. I want to remove their skulls from their mouth holes.
But, the worst, the fucking worst is the fuckers that will hold the door for their friends.
"Oh, Chantel, how you doing, girl? Don't worry, I'll hold the door for you!"
GODDAMNIT! FUCK YOU! I HAVE A LIFE TO LIVE OUTSIDE OF THIS FUCKING ELEVATOR!
I've then got to sit and wait for some troglodyte white-trash, fatchick to hobble to the elevator at some subatomic level of time/distance measurement that I can't calculate without a OUJI board and Carl Sagan's scrotum.
Then, I have to listen to these conversations that last a floor, but seem forever:
"Oh, girl, how was the movie?"
"Well, I brought Brody, James, Lasandra, Earl, Little May, the triplets, and my mother and we went to that Country Buffet beforehand. Ummmm, girl!"
"Oh, looks like this is our floor."
LIKE THERE'S MORE THAN FOUR FLOORS THAT IT COULD BE!!!!! WE'RE NOT IN THE FUCKING SEARS TOWER YOU DUMB, WHITE TRASH, HAIRY CUNT BITCH!!!
See, my brain is bleeding.
God I hate elevator people.

Pleace,
George Walter Sabbath