We Just...

K, Dead Animals aren't Funny Hey, I know what you're thinking – how come I don't get an erection when I look at cantaloupe anymore. Hey, I hear you.

But, what I want to talk to you about is the previous article "Dead Animal Farm." I want to make sure my readers know that I find nothing funny or enjoyable about "breaking animal neck" or "beating young kittens senseless."

My aim in the previous story was to show my readers just how fragile life really is. Like when you're beating a hen savagely and its head pops off.

I really wanted to display a softer side of myself. I didn't want to nurture any deep seated feelings regarding the brutal final solution for all ox and ox-like animals.

Animals are fun meat puppets for us all to play with – not to beat or harm. Children should never witness the brutal realities of animal decomposition.

No, children should be sheltered and nurtured like small French fries that cannot be eaten because they are so small.

Look, hey, you can cast your barbs and angry letters at me – I can take it.

But, please don't take this out on the innocent dead animals that line my fence, rammed onto each fence post in a manner so offensive the FCC fined me.