Smoking is the coolest

Smoking is the Coolest

So, I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before, but I've been waiting on $100 from Rent.com for weeks now. You see, and this is a good tip if you're moving, Rent.com will give you $100 for telling your new residency that you heard about them on Rent.com.
Now, whether Rent.com is fucked or my mailman is a criminal, I don't know. Mail has been a large problem at the Sevi and because of a recent robbery, we're going to have a new security guard or some shit. Look, bottom line is: I haven't received my Rent.com reward.
But, in the meantime, I have received a bunch of other rewards that I didn't expect: a refund from Puget Sound Energy, another refund from Puget Sound energy, a refund from the Department of Licensing, and last night: a reward card from Marlboro.
Yes, the good folks at Marlboro know that I'm risking lung, heart, dick, throat, tongue, colon, etc. cancer just to keep them in business and they know how to pay a bruther – $10.
That's right, not only that, but if I smoke 25 packs of cigarettes – another $25 is added to my card.
Isn't that SUPER!
But, this is only the most recent boon in my smoking career.
Listen:
I'm pretty sure they do this in bars across the nation, but I know they do in Seattle.
If you're smoking a cigarette, a Marlboro rep will come up to you and ask you a bunch of smoking-related questions and give you a free Zippo. In return, you give them your marketing info. It's a sweet deal and so far I have received:
Cookbooks
Lighters
$1 off coupons
Ashtrays
Keychains
More lighters

Sweatshirts

Binoculars


Other shit I don't remember off the top of my head.
But, there is a scary part to it: once Marlboro found out I was moving weeks before I moved. All of a sudden I received a "So, we hear you're moving" card in the mail. I thought, "Great Christ! They know my every move now." And they probably do. But, in a world where the tobacco companies pay for the most annoying anti-smoking commercials and help you to quit smoking, while encouraging you to as well – well, that's godlike.