Notes On Wild At Heart

William Dafoe Broke My Pen

"Nah, I don't do that."
"Just sign my luggage tag."
"I really don't do that."
"Look, here's my pen."
!

I Hate Medical Waste

Most people do. But I really hate it. Just the other day my buddy Bobby handed me a peanut. I was very grateful because I was starving. But low and behold – it was really medical waste. Bobby has played this joke on me millions of times. I don't know why I keep falling for it. Either I really like peanuts or I really like kidney stones.

LBJ Was A Good President

It's true. But did you know he was the only President to kill a bear with his bear hands?
Yes, that's right, he owned another bear's hands from a previous fight.

Laura Dern Is The Hottest Woman In Showbiz

Just so you know.

I'm Positive I Haven't Seen This

I thought I was a Lynch aficionado. But I don't think I've seen this.
Know what gave it away? A black guy in a Lynch film.

I'm Pretty Sure This Is My Worst Movie Review

It's true. However, I caught the movie at the end. Also, there's so much going on that I can't concentrate. I mean I have a pizza in the microwave, a cigarette burning, and Xanax kicking in. Oh, plus, Dafoe's head got blown off, Sailor went to jail, and now my pizza is done.

There's Nothing Hotter Than Making A Woman Weep

So, Sailor is leaving her after she waited six years for him. I mean, if you're gonna abuse a woman this is the way to do it. He even abandoned his son to fight people in the International District. That's badass.

There's Wizard Of Oz Shit Going On

But the truth is Nicholas Cage knows he's a shitty actor and wants to exit the movie to save it.
B+