Slumdog Millionaire: A Review

I know it's a little late.
However, this is when I get to my movies: once they come out on DVD.
It's a rarity that I will go to a theater and shell out money to be without smoke or drink for three hours. It's just retarded (the movie part, not me).
So, let me start out by saying that if you paid to see this movie in the theater you're stupid.
However, it was not a bad movie.
If you haven't seen it, here's the plot:

It starts out that this one dude is on India's version of American Idol. He's down to the final countdown – the song. He's singing it and everything goes well, but as he sings he thinks about what it was like to grow up in the 80s and listen to Europe.

We're leaving together: At this point the main character, let's call him Abner, thinks about how he grew up as a Muslim in a predominantly Hindu part of India. The Hindus have a holiday like Halloween, but everyone dresses up as Hindu Gods. This one chicks scares the crap out of Abner with a bow and arrow and he vows to go live in Dubai with his brother Pat and this one chick.

But still it's farewell: On this line of the song, Abner thinks about his Mom and how he left her with all his college debt. He feels bad, but is looking forward to "life in paradise" as his Dubai handlers call it.

And maybe we'll come back: At this point Abner, Pat, and the one chick realize Dubai sucks and they are just legal slaves to a corrupt system. So, they start forming a plan to sell corn dogs until they get enough money to buy back their visas.

To earth, who can tell?: Abner recalls how in Dubai the lead singer of Europe bought a corndog off him and then maimed him with it. From that day forward, Abner learned that Westerners would pay double for corndogs if they got to strike him with them.

I guess there is no blame: The one chick becomes a hooker.

We're leaving ground: Abner gets high and eats all his supply. This leaves Pat and Abner in more debt. Pat ditches Abner and opens a Jewish singles bar. I know – it doesn't make sense.

Will things ever be the same again?: Abner looks forlornly at a corndog stick.

It’s the final countdown: Abner's next shipment of corndogs comes in, but he finds out that it's actually heroin. The packages got mixed up because Dubai is so fucked. Abner phones his brother and convinces him to come work for him. Together they sell smack to Jewish singles. Along the way they hunt down that one chick and debase her in a myriad of ways that I'm not going to get into here. Point is: happy ending.

So, that's the plot. I guess the Jewish singles part didn't make sense. I was under the impression both Abner and Pat were Muslim. Also, it was a little too convenient to get a shipment of heroin instead of corndogs. I mean, that happens like 0.000000000001% of the time when you're selling corndogs, and trust me – I know. Also, there could have been more development in the character of that one girl. I mean, I don't even remember her name. First she's this chick taking calculus with Abner and then she's a hooker going down on the entire supergroup Europe.
The pace also was a bit much. I could barely keep up that drinking game where you drink every time a child is maimed.
All in all – is it worth it? Well, my Mom bought it and let me borrow it. So…I didn't want her to pay me money for having to sit through it. However, if I were to go back in time and have to rent it knowing what I know now, I don't think I'd pay more than two dollars to see it.
However, if it was on TBS I would probably watch it until the next commercial break.
So, like a 7 out of 11?
Anyway, join me back here next week when I review this one episode from the original Buck Rogers.