Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Blogs of Note

Some More Stories

Ed Bradley Once Stole My Mail

You remember Ed Bradley? He was on 60 minutes? Black. Had an earring. Well, he once stole my mail in broad daylight. I live no where near where Mr. Bradley lived, but there you go. That's how life is. One day you're playing Throw Things at the Dishwasher and the next day Ed Bradley is stealing your mail.

On a Related Note

I knew this other Ed Bradley named Steve George. Steve was the center for our high school football team when I was a Jr. So, I kinda looked up to him. I started hanging out with him and partying with the in crowd. Before I knew it, I was pretty popular myself. By the time Steve George left school, I was probably one of seven popular guys at the school – and I didn't have to play sports to do it. So, follow your dreams.

Nintendo Owes Me Money

When I was a kid I played a lot of Nintendo. I mean A LOT. Sometimes years would go by and I would forget the world and just be playing Nintendo. My mother would change and feed me while I played. It got so bad that I had gone through like 90 Nintendos. I didn't go to grades 4 through 6 and when I snuck back into school, I lacked the basic skills it takes to complete sentences and walk at a normal gait. I sent this story to Nintendo. They owe me money.

My Best Friend, The Tree

I think my best friend has been a tree. It stood outside my Mother's house and it has never left. You can't say that about most people. Except my jealous father.

You Can Learn All of Life's Lessons Through the Power of a Book

Books are one of nature's most precious commodities. Like Moby Dick, for instance. I've never read it, but it's about a Lion Tamer and his pet monkey, Dick. Well, that's what I think it's about. The point is, you can use your imagination with books. Like when the Lion Tamer cuts down a tree and it falls on Dick and Dick dies and so the Lion Tamer has to go boating to find a replacement monkey, who he also calls Dick. And how on the way they meet a dolphin. See how much I learned? And I didn't even have to read it.

Powerful Beans
I work out a lot and my trainer has showed me the fundamentals of a good diet. Like beans. He told me that beans are rich in minerals and protein and that if you eat enough beans, you can become an Adonis. That's why I've been eating a lot of beans lately. And not just green beans – kidney beans too. Just the other day I had some beans and I beat up this guy. I'm telling you – beans are powerful.