Monday, January 11, 2010

New Post

Wanna See a Dead Body?

Dead bodies are falling off our President like lice.

You have the ones wearing our flag, the ones firing at our flag, and the ones imprisoned under our flag.

Then you have a smoking gun memo pointing to our Big Dope of a president that says that the entire war was planned a year before Saddam's cutoff and that the President put all evidence against Saddam together like an imaginary jigsaw puzzle. In fact, it was a giant satellite picture of an old German V2 taped to the back of the Big Dope's favorite Battlestar Gallactica print.

Claims of Koran abuse are being fired from all sides and Muslims are responding in pure rage the likes not seen since blacks beat the shit out of Radioshacks throughout LA after a transvestite crackhead was beaten by storm troopers in the dead of night. For those who don't remember, see King, Rodney.

Meanwhile, actual PEOPLE are being abused in our Geneva-free prisons and no one seems to give a fuck.

I think after a guy is beaten so badly his legs are "pulpified" (New Yorker, May 30), a Koran down the toilet would seem like small potatoes. Hell, if you said to me "K, we can either wire you that cage and make you hang from your wrists, or we can flush this Nine Inch Nails CD down the toilet," I'd be screaming Nails sucks at the top of my lungs. Hell, I'd beg them to flush my Ipod as long as they didn't beat my legs into the texture of wood pulp.

But, never mind all that, if the Big Dope has his way you won't ever have to worry about any of this. You'll never even hear about it.

"Sir, we have a new enemy. This is an unconventional war and our enemy is an...unconventional one – it's out news media. We must destroy it...unconventionally..."

That's right, Newsweek ran the article on the Koran toilet and later retracted it; this, of course, on the heels of White House pressure. But, the truth is the only thing they retracted was the number of sources. Their original story and source were not retracted – just the claim that there were "sources" – plural.

But, the public will forever believe that the story is complete bullshit, even though officers and detainees alike are corroborating it.

Deep Throat is a myth, a rumor, something never to happen again. If Deep Throat came out today and gave the public a smoking gun about the lies that were constructed to send thousands to their deaths in Iraq, you'd never hear it.

In fact, with the Downing Street Memo, most people haven't heard it. And the White House's response is to call anyone who brings it up a "crackpot."

"You bastard! How could you sleep with my sister?"

"Who told you those lies?"

"She's a crackpot."

"Oh. Well, I never thought about it that way. I'm sorry. How could I have doubted you?"

"Maybe cuz you caught me with my dick in her mouth?"


Meanwhile, the joke that is American media is brazenly ignoring these stories because they are spineless Benedict Arnold's that need to be collectively hung from the moon to remind us that...what the hell was I on about? Oh, yeah!

You've got CBS and Newsweek getting clobbered by the White House's new take on truth – attack the media.

If we sent a nuke to North Korea, the White House could cover it up as long as they could paint those who saw the nuke detonate as crackpots.

Welcome to the twenty first century – news no longer exists. Sure, Michael Jackson putting his dick in a sixth grader's mouth will still be there for you. But, any truth about things that ACTUALLY EFFECT YOU will no longer be relevant. They will be untruthed by the White House and you'll smile and pledge allegiance. Hell, you might as well start getting your news from FOX, because all the other stations are falling in line.

There's an ugly feeling rolling around in your grave knowing you were garroted in the night, but having an obit that reads "Died Peacefully in Her Sleep."

But, not to worry, the Democrats are doing jack and squat about any of this and are still slapping themselves on the back for giving Poland to Hitler in exchange for not V2ing the hell out of Britain.

The day after Democrats and Republicans averted the "nuclear option" (which would give the White House free reign to set up the Fourth Reich) I received emails from MoveOn, Hillary Clinton, and various other gimps and losers telling me that they won.

What the hell did they win? They managed to let the Big Dope push three more conservative judges passed the Senate in exchange for not receiving a jackboot in their collective mouths.

Fuck, that's like yelling victory when your house is repossessed but they let you keep your mailbox.

If no one can get the balls together to blow the whistle on this Nazi carnival, we're liable to see another Bushalike run us even farther into Hitler's wet dream come 2008. If anything your vote will not only not count, it won't be counted.

And with the money the Big Dope is hustling out of Iraq via corporate sponsorship of Team America, you'll probably just be another slave hand in the mansion that is Republican America.


Matt Eckert

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