Wednesday, December 9, 2009


The Thoughts of the Porno Actor

Oh, man. How long can I keep doing this?
Jesus. OK, OK.


Man, that really didn't seem like acting. I mean, I came, so it's not like I was really acting.
What am I doing in this business?
One day you're trying out for Shakespeare in the park and the next....
Well, you're here with this woman fluffing you so that you can do a double penetration scene with a horny housewife and the janitor.
Man! My mother always said I was lazy...but, this...this is no way to – great, hold on

"Oh, Jesus! Yes, just like that baby. You like that?"

OK, what was I thinking – yeah, so I mean, maybe that's just it – I'm lazy. I guess if I worked

"Oh, yeah, make it hard! C'mon! C'mon!"

a little harder at respectable work, maybe I wouldn't be here, inside this woman's butt. Oh well. Damn, why does she have to have a tattoo of Goofy on her butt. I'm trying to stay aroused here and I'm looking at Goofy. Jesus.

"Yeah, that's it, you like that don't you?"

God, if I have to repeat that line – damnit!

"Yeah, that's it, that's it."

This director sucks. Can you even call a guy a director if all he does is shout out stock porn phrases? Oh, crap, the other guy's gonna blow his wad. If he hits me again –
DAMNIT! Just what I needed, a good load of some dude's spunk on me.
OK, here we go. I wanna get this over with. OK....Oh, crap, did I leave the iron on? I hope I didn't leave the iron on. Damn. Now, I'm worried. What was that one album I was going to get? I heard it on the radio. I think it was the Carpenters –

"OH YEAH, I'm about to come!"

Something about roses or something? I can't remember. There's not enough love music out there. I mean, it's all about sex and drugs and crap. What ever happened –


to love music?

You'd think there'd be a good love song or two on the radio. Something like old Manilow or Diamond. Oh, well –


I guess I'm just a romantic.

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