My first question comes from Greenhash…Mr. President, why don't we legalize marijuana?
Mr. Greenhash, I'm the first black President of the United States. Do you really think one of my first 100 days actions is going to legalize weed? If you're reading this response, I'm shaking my head right now and rolling my eyes.
Next question comes from Hightimes…Mr. President, why don’t we legalize marijuana?
Again, first black President. Shaking head. Rolling eyes.
Next questi – C'mon! Fine. From Bongrolla…Mr. President, why don't we legalize marijuana and tax it?
OK. Some thought was put into this, so I won't roll my eyes. But I'm totally shaking my head right now.
Next – Rahm, is this gonna – how many of these emails do we have? 3450? You're kidding. OK. Rules are rules. This is from Dick Cheese…Mr. President, I just took some acid – this is just that old SNL skit….
Next. From Dre Chronic…Mr. President, were you high when you allowed AIG to get those bonuses?
Mr. Chronic, no I was not. However, I was watching the Cartoon Network and eating Funyons.
Next. From Mary Jane…Mr. President, why aren't more people going after Phil Gramm for his initial deregulation of Wall Street instead of blaming you or even Bush? And can you legalize pot?
I don't know. And no.
Next. From – I can't even read this name, but he wants me to legalize pot.
Look, people, it's 2009. If you haven't found a way to get pot, then you aren't trying hard enough. When I was your age I would figure out who was "cool" and ask them where to get it. If you can't figure out who is cool, then go online. There are forums and forums dedicated to pot. Now, can we just skip to some more questions? We can? Great.
This…let me read it…K, this is from Colonel Sanders and he writes…Mr. Obama, I recently lost my job and I am having trouble finding a new one. I have a large amount of money that was left to me by my grandfather. I was thinking of investing it now that the stock market is in the dumps. What do you feel is a safe investment?