Levi Larrington's Conspiracy Theory
What is a conspiracy theory?
A conspiracy theory is a wide range of interlocking bits of information that you put into a puzzle that normally makes something that looks a bit like reality, but really isn't. Like Tom Brokaw.
Why a conspiracy theory?
$$$$
Look around the web and you'll find a plethora of conspiracy theories and they all have one thing in common: they charge. If not directly, then indirectly through advertisement. Rush Limbaugh is one big conspiracy corporation. Think about it. Fox News – Same Rules Apply. To a lesser degree, MSN and Huffington Post.
What can YOU get out of my conspiracy theory?
Piece of mind. Look, you're any number of statistics in this country that end up on the cover of USA Today. Some of you may be a few dozen. Why are you fat? Why are you broke? Who's sticking it to you? You'll soon have all the mental tools you need to get through life without having to think for yourself – I'll do the thinking for all of us.
What is the theory?
My conspiracy theory is this: I'm trying to ruin your life. That's right, me. I sold you on this theory and now you're buying every word I say. You even bought my book I Will Screw You. And as far as you know, I am.
How much will this cost me?
Sliding scale.
Are minority groups involved?
They can be. If you would like, for and extra 19.95 a month, I'll give you a list of minorities and you can chose which ones are trying to screw you with my help. I've convinced several hundred people that Eskimos created the Holocaust to hide the growing casino movement in the United States. And that only took me half a second to make up. In fact, I'll throw in my Theory Grid for you to use:
Match
Federal Reserve, WW2, Evolution, The Number 23, Bilderberg, Illuminati
And
Native Americans, Indians, Jews, Blacks, Whites
You get
CONSPIRACY THEORY!!!!!
????
I know, it's all a bit much right now. I'm working on the final details, but I will begin with this prediction: I've already started to screw you.
How do I join?
Paypal. Contact me through the comments in this blog and I will give you your top secret password in order to obtain the Player's Club portion of this website. Here you'll learn exactly why, how, and how hard I will screw you. I even give out tips on avoiding me screwing you.
Testimonial
Levi screwed me pretty hard, but I was able to figure out that it was not my fault and with a little help I can track Levi down and figure out his methods in order to avoid being screwed any worse.
ACT NOW
What is a conspiracy theory?
A conspiracy theory is a wide range of interlocking bits of information that you put into a puzzle that normally makes something that looks a bit like reality, but really isn't. Like Tom Brokaw.
Why a conspiracy theory?
$$$$
Look around the web and you'll find a plethora of conspiracy theories and they all have one thing in common: they charge. If not directly, then indirectly through advertisement. Rush Limbaugh is one big conspiracy corporation. Think about it. Fox News – Same Rules Apply. To a lesser degree, MSN and Huffington Post.
What can YOU get out of my conspiracy theory?
Piece of mind. Look, you're any number of statistics in this country that end up on the cover of USA Today. Some of you may be a few dozen. Why are you fat? Why are you broke? Who's sticking it to you? You'll soon have all the mental tools you need to get through life without having to think for yourself – I'll do the thinking for all of us.
What is the theory?
My conspiracy theory is this: I'm trying to ruin your life. That's right, me. I sold you on this theory and now you're buying every word I say. You even bought my book I Will Screw You. And as far as you know, I am.
How much will this cost me?
Sliding scale.
Are minority groups involved?
They can be. If you would like, for and extra 19.95 a month, I'll give you a list of minorities and you can chose which ones are trying to screw you with my help. I've convinced several hundred people that Eskimos created the Holocaust to hide the growing casino movement in the United States. And that only took me half a second to make up. In fact, I'll throw in my Theory Grid for you to use:
Match
Federal Reserve, WW2, Evolution, The Number 23, Bilderberg, Illuminati
And
Native Americans, Indians, Jews, Blacks, Whites
You get
CONSPIRACY THEORY!!!!!
????
I know, it's all a bit much right now. I'm working on the final details, but I will begin with this prediction: I've already started to screw you.
How do I join?
Paypal. Contact me through the comments in this blog and I will give you your top secret password in order to obtain the Player's Club portion of this website. Here you'll learn exactly why, how, and how hard I will screw you. I even give out tips on avoiding me screwing you.
Testimonial
Levi screwed me pretty hard, but I was able to figure out that it was not my fault and with a little help I can track Levi down and figure out his methods in order to avoid being screwed any worse.
ACT NOW
2 comments:
Were you drunk when you wrote this?
Probably.
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