Fun with Melodies

He started out into the desert. The ground was solid black and lines had been drawn in the soil to mark out large chunks of blackened earth. A cup blew by in the hot sun and he looked up to find that he was in no desert – he was in a parking lot at Burger King.
"Oh, cruel fate, what has lead me here?" He screamed up at the billowing smoke coming from the restaurant.
"Hey, asshole, get off my car!" Came in return. He climbed off the car and apologized, before returning back to the Sidewalk of Hope.
He had been walking the Sidewalk of Hope for eight minutes. It was a long journey from where he started off at the Basement of His Mother's.
Dreams come and go in this world, but he felt that there was something hopeful about this day, but he was wrong. He spent most of it in the 7-11 of Despair, playing video games and eating hotdogs.
Sure, you can't expect much from a sixteen year old, but that doesn't mean we should expect him to entertain himself with packets of Irish Cream sweetner and Ninja Gaiden.
The next day, August 11, 1989, he set out again, this time on the Trail of Thunder, which was a small garden trail that lead into the Woods of Wonderment. In the Woods of Wonderment, our hero met a bear named Jack. He rode the bear around for awhile, looking for the Princess of the Wood, but found only that he had been hit over the head by some local bullies and was in the throws of a Severe Head Trauma.
Soon a local boy found our hero on the ground and kicked him for awhile, before deciding that he could be implicated in the Severe Head Trauma.
Running to his mother, the boy declared "There's a dead man in the woods and I thought he was alive, so I was kicking it and it was dead, but I didn't do it. I didn't kick him that hard and"
The boy's mother decided her son was coming down with a cold or some illness that produces hallucinations. So, our hero stayed in the Woods of Wonderment until he quietly died from wounds from a Badger of Malice.
The point of the story is that you never know what life will hand you. Also that Ninja Gaiden was an awesome game in 1989.
Oh, and that nacho cheese hot dogs at 7-11 were also awesome – but you knew that.
While we're running at the mouth, let's visit Sarah, the Grandmother Who Cared Too Much.
Sarah lived alone most of her life, and in those years she had become quite fond of CARING TOO MUCH.
For example, she went to the grocery store every day, not to shop, but to put back all the carts. When asked why she did it, she would exclaim "I have no family of my own!"
Did this mean she thought of the grocery carts as her family? Hard to tell. But it is told that she would name the carts and could accurately name the same cart the same name within the span of a month.
But there's a twist – the grocery carts were really robots. Robots from
The past!
Yes, in 1928, a foolish inventor built the grocery cart years before modern grocery stores and parking lots were ever even thought of. The inventor, in his race against time (he had about 30 years) decided to program the carts using a punch card system imbedded in the shopping carts.
The punch cards were so small, they fit inside the handle of the cart. Well, the cart's used this programming language to slowly become sentient, and they did on March 23, 2003. That's right after Sarah named her carts. So, in a way, Sarah was psychic.
That's a lot to swallow, but let's run through the basic points:
Sarah cares too much
Shopping carts are sentient
Sarah is psychic

Now, imagine if you will if Sarah also predicted that ants would one day rule the Earth?

Was Sarah right? Turn to page 29
Was Sarah wrong? Turn to page 39
Am I a lazy writer? Turn to page YES!