Corn Nutz

Once again, we had a barn burner. Yes, the 1st annual Best Albums Ever awards as voted by you.
Some of you may have chosen not to participate, or I forgot to email. In either case - sorry.
With that in mind, let me let you in on next week's contest: Best Songs Ever. At the end of the contest I will make CDs of the winning 20 song compilation.
Also, if anyone is interested in pitching five bucks in, you may choose to bet that your list comes the closest.
Jenny, please forward this to Sean.
So, moving right along to the winners.
BUT FIRST! Some stats:
It was a tough contest and we ended up with 2 ties. Therefore, there are 22 albums on the list.
Of those 22 albums -
11 are American/11 are English/0 were Iraqi, Canadian, etc.
The top bands, represented by 3 spots each, were Led Zeppelin and Nirvana. Cyndi Lauper did poorly.
Of the 22, 7 of the bands were/are from Seattle. So there, Creepifornia.
The majority of the albums were made in the 90s.
Big surprise award: NONE of the albums were made after 2000 (which we know that after Lateralus, no classic albums have been made).
Of the bands represented, 16 no longer exist.
Kid A barely didn't make it and I want to kill Paul Simon for it (see below).
The only album I disagree with is Paul Simon's Graceland. You should all feel bad about your taste, for it sucks.
How did I arrive at these figures: First, number of times charted; second, placement on each chart. Ties of more than two would have gone down to another vote, but luckily...Also, all albums came from the Rolling Stone's 2005 Best Albums Ever chart. The reason, and everyone b*tched, was that if you all put your own little pet album in it would have been a disaster. Imagine 10 lists with all ten Genesis albums, or worse, a little early Paul McCartney here, a little Slayer there. It would be all over the place and it would make it hard to tally votes. Especially from those of you who like "Indie bands" that no one has heard of - not to mention those of you who enjoy bluegrass and PowerJazz.
Furthermore, I wanted no Enya on this list.
So, without further ado:
20. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, The Beatles.
Not a bad choice. Definitely didn't deserve the number 1 it got in the Rolling Stone list. A Day in the Life ends up making up for a good margin of error.
19. The Downward Spiral, Nine Inch Nails/Led Zeppellin 2, Led Zeppellin.
The Downward Spiral was my number one...and should have been yours. It's an album about ruining your life and you should get to know it. Led Zeppelin 2 is a bit bland, especially compared to IV, Houses, and Graffiti.
18. Black Sabbath, Black Sabbath.
One of the most underrated bands. Ozzy on his own sucks (except when he's drunk on MTV).
17. Master of Puppets, Metallica.
Metallica is pretty much a joke now. Face it. They haven't put out a good album since Justice. Face it. The black album sucked. Face it. But, Master was in my top twenty and is a classic. The best Metallica album evah. FACE IT!
16. Synchronicity, The Police.
Underrated album. The Police were what Sting did before he started making Contemparary adult music for Starbucks. The earlier Police albums were, for the most part, collections of singles, like the latest Nails album. Good listening, but not real albums. Synchronicity on the other hand...classic album. The namesake songs are awesome and overlooked. Do yourself a friggin service and buy this album...because I want to burn it. I think I sold mine for burrito meat.
15. In Utero, Nirvana.
Classic. Made me understand why killing yourself is cool. After the attempt, I realized you have to be a rock star first.
14. Vitalogy, Pearl Jam/Superunknown, Soundgarden.
Vitalogy - probably the best PJ album. Ten is great, but a bit too usable. Vitalogy was weird enough to make sure you didn't understand 50 % of it and that is what you want in an album. By the way, I know this is Ripley's, but the new album (with the avocado) is amazing. Trust me. I gave up on PJ a long time ago, but happened upon the album out of boredom and it is great. Probably their third best, under Vit and Ten. Check it out. Superunknown sounds like the end of the world from under a truck. Really must be listened to as a whole album. Otherwise, MTV's constant playing of Black Hole Sun in the summer of 94 would make you want to throw it out. Man, I forgot MTV used to have videos.
13. Pink Moon, Nick Drake.
This album is bleak. In my top ten. Very good. No wonder the guy killed himself. I wanted to from just listening to it once - this guy wrote and recorded the thing! Seriously, if you want to get rid of someone who is too emotional, give them this album. It's worse than a loaded shotgun and a superior command of the toe.
12. Are You Experienced, Jimi Hendrix.
I've never been a Hendrix fan. I don't know why. I've tried to like it - I just can't. It's like the show Friends.
11. OK Computer, Radiohead.
Classic. Three minute dialogue from a Commadore64 in the middle of the album, space rawk jams, and awesome lyrics. Hint: an EP came out after this album that is also classic, but hard to find. I think it's the Airbag EP, but I'm not sure.
10. Houses of the Holy, Led Zeppelin.
Classic. That's all you can really say about Zep. Everytime you hear it your transported back to highschool and find yourself drinking Keystone Light in front of a fire. Well, that's what happened to me last night. I met this hot chick who turns 18 next month!
9. Revolver, The Beatles.
Tomorrow Never Knows is classic. You know what's sad? The first time I heard it, it was a Phil Collins' cover. Man, I feel like listening to Pink Moon now. Great album.
8. Graceland, Paul Simon.
You people make me sick. Poopland.
7. Unplugged in New York, Nirvana.
He may have been Christ. Plateau and Where Did You Sleep Last Night floated around for a year or two without being delivered. Probably the most anticipated album ever.
6. Ten, Pearl Jam.
I remember hating PJ in highschool. Later, I came to enjoy this album quite a bit. Like hummus.
5. Led Zeppellin IV, Led Zeppellin.
See Houses of the Holy. Oh, P.S. Stairway and Misty Mountain Hop are the weaker songs on the album. ACCEPT IT!
4. The Wall, Pink Floyd.
No white highschooler should leave home without it. A rock star goes nuts after the loss of his father in WW2, alienation from the world at large, drug abuse, and the collapse of his marriage. Yet! I TOTALLY could relate to it in 9th grade.
3. The Doors, The Doors.
This made my list, and yours I'm sure, for the bookends Break on Through and The End. It's a real shame that the Doors Greatest Hits wasn't on the list. I think everyone owned it. What was that line in Wayne's World about Frampton Comes Alive? Something like it being standard issue to suburbian teenagers? Same goes.
2. Nevermind, Nirvana.
I like In Utero better. This is probably because I'm smarter than you.

and....can you guess? Is it a Beatle? A Stone? A Duran or Duran?



1. The Dark Side of the Moon, Pink Floyd.
I really can't express.....
There you are. Once again, we shared some stories and some laughs and maybe learned something along the way.
Please give me an email if you would like to take part in the Best Songs Ever contest for next week.
So, in the wise words of Milton Bradley - that's Life, b*tches.
-Matbert Eckro.