Good Lord!

Sevi"I enjoy eating children."-Zell Miller
So, I'm moving again. That's right, it's been too long in dreary Renton and it's about time I pull up my boot strings (or whatever) and prepare myself for the hangovers that are incurred when living in Seattle.
Yes, my new place of residence will be in the beautiful Sevi, next to the old Tower Records. So, basically, I'm living across the street from the Space Needle. You know the Space Needle, right: the ugliest man- made beacon of waste that looks nothing like a needle and only rivals the McDonalds next door in it's attempt to reach space.
For those of you living elsewhere (people who happened upon my blog by searching for Enzyte – happens all the time) I implore you to disregard the Needle. The food is a rip off and you get a better view from the Columbia tower....or your hotel.
So, Seattle it is. Why Seattle? Well, I've decided it's either Seattle or I'm going to have to sell my car to ensure that I don't drink and drive.
With no bars in Renton that are worth puking in, the closest thing is Bellevue – and I hate Bellevue. So, that means cabbing if I ever want to go out and get stinking drunk.
So, I made up my mind to move to Seattle so that I can drink in peace.In fact, there is a couple of bars across the street, and Belltown is in walking distance. I'm set! If my liver doesn't look like Paul Wolfowitz's face by January, I'll be damned.
What else? Well, I came upon this yesterday:The Happiest Place on EarthFavorite Chapter title ever: Schizophrenia – It Alarms Myself.The saddest part is that I have a lot in common with this man: I'm a hermit, in poor health, and I too worry about implants stuck in my head from when I had my wisdom teeth removed.
Like the other day, I was walking into work and for no reason at all I began savagely masturbating in the parking garage. I could have been fired. But, I simply explained the implant and apparently I get a free holiday to unwind in something called "Cedar Valley Center."So, tomorrow I get an all expense paid vacation to this place in Bothell that apparently is "hard to get into" and has "extra cushioned rooms."So, I have that going for me.
Wait, I just have to say it again: Schizophrenia – It Alarms Myself.
In other news, it looks like Bush (the incumbent) finally broke even and is at 52%. Well, good for him! The entire world was in line to kiss his pinky ring three years ago, and now he can't even get a solid ten points above the challenger.
Lord, Bush and his dad really know how to piss it all away. What a waste. Poor Georgey. Huh, so CBS is claiming that the current batch of Bush Guard records are legit and that they've been checked by "experts" for authenticity, and now, come to find out someone has found Microsoft Word "Superscript" in the document – like when the "th" after 11th jumps up and gets small like a Mario Brother. This is in a document from the early 70's. Does anyone remember when CBS wasn't a fucking degenerate joke of a network? Not that there's anything else better...maybe CNN....Oh, P.S. FUCK ZELL MILLER! This cocksucker makes Yosemite Sam look like a Freedom Rider. The guy took his jabs at Kerry from a FUCKING CHAIN EMAIL LETTER!? What a fucking degenerate. To actually thieve from a source that regularly tells us that Michael Eisner is going to give you 2000 smackers for forwarding a poem about Jesus? What a douche.Zell, I hope you Google yourself some time so I can say this:FUCK YOU, YOU DUMB, SOUTHERN, BACKWOODS, HEE-HAW, JUG PLAYIN, BAYOU FLOATING, CROCK HUNTING, TWO FACED, CROSS DRESSING (you never know), DEGENERATE, THEIVING, IGNORANT, REJECT FROM BEFORE THE SOUTH LOST THE WAR.
Man, that felt great. I wonder if Zell is defending his home right now with MX missiles? Like, he hears something outside and runs to the closet to grab an MX missile to lob at his would-be burglar. "CLARA?! Did you hear that? Great shakes! I think one of those uppidity slaves has gone and stolen a chicken! Well, tarnation, I'd better get me the MX!" Funnier things have been written, but, Zell, you're an asshole.Let's read some fanmail:
Pse.service@customercenter.net writes:
E-Bill InformationBiller Account Number:******2222 Due Date:09/20/2004 Amount Due:$26.50 Account Balance:To pay this e-Bill, click the red CheckFree pay button. You can then change the payment date, payment amount, and payment account, if necessary. To view the e-Bill before paying it, click View E-bill.Note: If you have already paid this bill, please disregard this message. It is simply a reminder that you have an e-Bill.
Thank you, PSE, I appreciate the support.
hotnews@seattletimes.com writes:Friday, September 10, 2004 10:01 AM Former U.S. Sen. Brock Adams dies at 77 Former Transportation Secretary and U.S. Sen. Brock Adams, who declined to seek re-election following a sexual harassment scandal in the early 1990s, died today at age 77, his former chief of staff said. Story: http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2002032016_webadams10.html
Brock, we hardly knew ya.
How about a blog or two?
Today we took a test over nouns, subjects, and direct objects. After the test you completed Part A on 414 #1-15.
That's almost as interesting as my blog.Wait, this just in: there's a mysterious black bag in the parking garage – I was vigilant, I called my friend and she's going to call security. So, if I'm blown up, know that I attempted to be vigilant.How about another blog and then, I'll leave you:
My son told me once a year or so ago that he had "lucky underpants". Oh, the things kids come up with. How he made this determination, what distinguished one pair of tidy whities from another, I will NEVER know. Or for that matter how he knew which pair was the lucky pair. Maybe he thinks all of his underwear is lucky, and that's why it's so blissful to be a kid. I am completely convinced I have not one single pair of lucky underpanties, but I know of at least one unlucky pair. And I wore them yesterday. I specifically recall the last two times I wore them I was not pleased with the outcome of my day. Since I have like 80 or so pairs of panties, I guess I should take them out of circulation, regardless of how pretty they are.
Man, it's amazing what passes for communism now a days.Well, it's a big weekend of packing and alarming myself.If I get bored, I'll write again, and remember to email this to a friend using the new function below – because your friends are assholes.
Godbless the children,
Tam Treckie