Well, it's been a rough few days. I think the hardest part was the not knowing. Monday I scoured Google for any word. It's hard when you lose someone and you don't know where they are. That's why it's with great relief that I announce supermodel Petra Nemcova is alive and well.
She managed to make it through the ravages of the tsunami with only a hurt shoulder.
I feel like crying. I mean, it's only through the grace of God that Petra was able to live through what I can only imagine must have been sheer hell. This could have been a very sad week, but with the knowledge of Petra's escape, I am proud to announce that forthwith, this day will be known as Petra day.
But, all is not well. Petra suffered a deep bruise to her shoulder and you know model's don't have health benefits.
Not even super ones.
That's why I would like to encourage you all to please donate to the Petra Nemcova fund at www.supermodelbruise.com. For just pennies a day you can help pay for the bandage that Petra needs to have surgically implanted under her surgical implants to stop the rapid dissolution of her breasts. Not only that, but the Perry Ellis ice pack that certainly doesn't come cheap.
Look, there are a lot of charities out there: nameless, faceless charades that help some ruffians in Somalia. But, this charity is strictly for one person and you'll know exactly where your money is going: to the tattoo that got smudged by a bamboo chute on Petra's underinsured arm.
I know what you're thinking: how can I make a difference directly? Well, for those of you who are available, we are throwing a lavish "Petra is Alive" party at the Met.
Now, what we need is people to help set up and decorate. Now, we are assuming that you know that you will not be meeting Petra and any attempts at such selfishness will be handled by Bobo, Petra's bouncer.
Look, it's the season to give; won't you make a difference in this supermodel's sad life? Petra would do it for you.
If you have a pulse, please visit this site and make a donation: http://www.msf.org/.
I can almost promise none of your money will go to Petra's dumb ass.
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