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I made Tabouli (spl?). Yes, it's a Middle Eastern dish. The Iraqi method of cooking requires no heating.
The American method requires you to "nuke it" thirty to forty times on high for five years a pop.
Strange world.
I'm broke again and I had to resort to using alternate spices and seasonings.
The recipe:

Bulgar wheat: I happened to have some of this in bulk, as bulgar is my favorite of wheats - whaddya know?
Olive oil: I had none of this, so I just strained some canned olives.
Salt and pepper: I have no idea what either of these are, so I just through in weed.
Lemon juice: Used a pineapple.
Anise: ??? Poured a beer in.
Tomatoes: I always have tomatoes.
Green onion: Green onion, green ice cream - what's the diff? Who is the wiser?
Mint leave: I already threw chocolate chip mint ice cream in.

To my chagrin, the Tabouli (spl?) ended up tasting like wasabi almonds.
That's how life is, though.
You try to make Tabouli (spl?) and end up with wasabi almonds.
Well, if life hands you wasabi almonds...