Eat Shit and Die

July 9, 2003

The world had ended.
But, the media is not reporting it.
I'm still alive, according to them.
But, I don't breathe.
For once, I ate Jack n' the Box, tasted it, and didn't feel full. In fact, I felt nothing. I went back six times and I'm still fucking hungry.
I'm fucking dead.

But, enough of that.
Comedians die rather quiet deaths; screaming their heads off on empty rooms.
I've been reading a lot of newsletters lately and I'm feeling quite better.
Newsletters are like newspapers from valium world.
How about this:
EAT SHIT AND DIE!
- The newletter from Levi Larrington

It's that time again!
That's right all you drug addled, suicidal misfits - it's summer!
And what does summer have in store for all of you sinners?
Longer fucking days!
No longer will you, avid L.L. fan, be able to enjoy 12, 13, even 23 hours of sleep - No! Coming June 21st, you'll enjoy 19 hours of daylight n which to reflect upon the nightmares of the other five.
It's just that easy.
Enjoy all the nighttime phantoms in the hours of sunlight, without the burden fo thinking it's just because its dark out.

In other news, Levi's liver grew a total...