Sunday, October 4, 2009

The Bangles

The Star Spangled Banner is Satanic and Perverted

It's true.

I will now list the lyrics in their entirety and prove to you that this song was written for the sole purpose of polluting our youth.

Oh, say can you see, by the dawn's early light,

The "dawn's early light?" That could be no other than Satan, commonly known as the "Morning Star."

What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?

"Gleaming" is a term used by skateboarders to describe gay sex with Christian Slater.

Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the perilous fight,

Giving a woman a "stripe" means ejaculating on her back. As for "bright stars" it means the dilation of pupils due to an ecstasy high.

O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?

This verse contains nothing profane, but was inserted to misguide vigilant Christians like myself.

And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,

This verse describes an orgasm.

Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.

Take out the letter "L" in flag and you do the math.

O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave

It is said that when Satan returns to the Earth he will bring forth a "banner" of peace, but will betray man with damnation.

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

Hell is described as a "free" land in which fornication and violent video games ravage men like syphilis.

On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,

"Mists of the deep" is common slang for an aroused vagina.

Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,

This can only mean the "host(s)" of hell.

What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,

It is said that Satan likes breezes.

As it fitfully blows, now conceals, now discloses?

This describes a homosexual coming out of the closet.

Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,

Again, a reference to Morning Star.

In full glory reflected now shines on the stream:

This is a reference to LSD's effect on the "stream" of consciousness.

'Tis the star-spangled banner! O long may it wave

Again, the banner of Satan.

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

See above.

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore

This line encourages our youth to swear and listen to deviant rap music.

That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion

Satan loves confusing the flock.

A home and a country should leave us no more?

This line is for the sole purpose of glorifying the "home" of hell.

Their blood has wiped out their foul footstep's pollution.

This line refers to the liberal left's need to put ecological restraints on good, Christian oil companies.

No refuge could save the hireling and slave

This line refers to the enslaving of mankind under the banner of Satan.

From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:

This line, directly, refers to hell.

And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave


O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.


Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand

Freemen rhymes with semen.

Between their loved homes and the war's desolation!

This line refers to the "desolation" of the soul after a life lived by sin.

Blest with victory and peace, may the heaven-rescued land

This lines refers to the sinner's hope that heaven will rescue them after their life of adultery and consumption of organic foods.

Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.

This is a common prayer to Satan.

Then conquer we must, for our cause it is just,

"Just" rhymes with bust (glorification of the flesh).

And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."

Whose God? It certainly isn't our father Jesus Christ. Nowhere in this song is Christ's name mentioned. Then who could this "God" be?

And the star-spangled banner forever shall wave


O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!


So, the next time you're at a ball game think about this: your soul is in grave jeopardy.

Thank you.

God bless,

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