Wednesday, December 9, 2009

I'm Against Slavery

My name is Matt Eckert. I run this "blog."
And I have an announcement to make – we're RETOOLING!
That's right. Because of poor ratings (see Blog Hot or Not: we got a 1.3 as an average of 9 votes) we will now be a REALITY BLOG. That's right, everything here on the blog will be part of....REALITY. Not only that, it will no longer involve just my own reality – it will involve others. And I know you've all been asking for more SEX in the blog – so, you'll be getting MORE SEX! The following will be the first of many blogs to involve ACTUAL HUMAN BEINGS WITH VAGINAS! Or, as I like to call them – HOTCHIX.
I will continue to write (questions), but the rest is all HOTCHIXXX!!!!!
So, without further ado:



The first HOTCHIXXX babe is my ex-girlfriend from a long time ago. Which ex-girlfriend? I cannot say. But, she is definitely a HOTCHIXXX babe. K, apparently she didn't have time before leaving work - so, she will be tomorrow's HOTCHIXXX babe.

The second HOTCHIXXX babe is a reader of the previous unretooled Larrington. I haven't seen her since I was drunk a few months ago, but I promise you, my readers, that when I'm drunk I'm always around HOTCHIXXX!

Matt: Have you ever slept with a porpoise?
HOTCHIXXX BABE: No, but have been humped by a dolphin.

Matt: If you were alone on a desert island, but you knew God was watching: would you, you know?
HOTCHIXXX BABE: Yes because he's always watching and I do it all the time.

Matt: If you had only Ed Asner or Britney Spears to choose from – who would you sleep with?
HOTCHIXXX BABE: Ed Asner only as Lou from Mary Tyler Moore

Matt: If you had your choice between Dom Deluise and one of the Olsen twins – who would you cook for?

Matt: If I continued to yell PING in your ear, how long before you'd hit me?
HOTCHIXXX BABE: 1 min 31sec

Matt: What drugs have you taken?
HOTCHIXXX BABE: all sorts but I like to stick with downers

Matt: What drugs are you on?
HOTCHIXXX BABE: Just huffed some office depot compressed air

Matt: Would you be fat or thin?
HOTCHIXXX BABE: Fat, because fat girls have pretty faces and great senses of humor.

Matt: Would you rather be eaten from the inside out by a tapeworm, or spend an evening in a really nice hotel?

Matt: What do you do for fun?
HOTCHIXXX BABE: I just got back from following Da Band around the southern us. Ooohwhaaaat YEAH!

Matt: What are your turn ons?
HOTCHIXXX BABE: Croquet, music- anything by Burt Bacharach or Black Rebel Motor Cycle Club, Don Johnson.

Matt: What are your turn offs?
HOTCHIXXX BABE: Men who wear tight pants and those weird chinese socks that separate your big toe from the rest of your foot. You know those ones. Star Trek. Cologne.

Matt: Have you ever had a dream that involved moles?
HOTCHIXXX BABE: Never , that's a weird question.

Wasn't that great? We delved deep into the lives of REAL HOTCHIXXX and asked probing questions that they answered as only HOTCHIXXX could – hotly.
Are you turned on? I bet you are. Stay tuned for more HOTCHIXXX actions as I interview dudes who want to have sex with HOTCHIXXX! Why dudes? Well, I have to find more HOTCHIXXX to interview and HOTCHIXXX usually want money for their time. So, I'm going to have to have a few DUDES to talk about HOTCHIXXX while I scope for more HOTCHIXXX to interview. Also, send me any HOTCHIXXX that you know of and I will interview them.
This has been the HOTCHIXXX room of LEVI LARRINGTON.
PSSSSSSSSS, ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh – HOT!

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