Wednesday, December 9, 2009

These Are Old Posts People. I'm A Different Man.

To the Kansas School Board:

The school board of Kansas wants to teach intelligent design as an "authentic theory that challenges evolution."
Please email Kathy (school board) and let her know of some more good ideas that she can run with. We can't limit our children to evolution and super heroes in the sky - we must teach them the truth: that our best guess is evolution, but naked chicks growing out of ribs is pretty fucking cool when you think about it.
Sample email I wrote to Kathy (board member):

Yeah, I was wondering when you were going to introduce the theory that robots created humans into the curriculum? See, the way I see it is that robots created mankind and that we created robots - isn't that ironic?
So, basically, what I want is for you to include the robot theory in your curiculum now that you have added Zeus or Jesus or whatever to the list of ways in which Earth (or the universe) was created.
Let me know if you need more info. Your best place to start is by Googling "robots created man and vice versa."
Good luck and let me know if you would like me to speak at any one of your fine schools.
This is an authentic theory that challenges evolution and should be taught!
I'd like to applaud your courage to embrace the idea that we don't need to abide by just one set of rules!
P.S. I'm working on this theory of how this giant tractor is going to destroy the Earth - but, it's still in beta testing.
God bless,
Robert Eckert

Please email Kathy and let her know that you support her mission to teach alternate theories to evolution in schools.
Because video games, porn, and drugs have not made our children stupid enough yet.

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