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Episode IV: A New Hope On Monday I had an ugly moment. Hung over from a night of boobs and beer at Hooters, I walked passed the rag of polls...
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Wanna See a Dead Body? Dead bodies are falling off our President like lice. You have the ones wearing our flag, the ones firing at our flag...
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Ask me About Jesus So, I see this car out in the parking lot and it says "Ask me about Jesus." I thought to myself, "What is ...
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Can We All Agree that the World is Poop? "Absolution and a frozen room are the dreams of men below." - Ministry, Burning Inside Gr...
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Funeral Plans for my Goldfish 2001 Monday, June 7 • 10 a.m. PDT: Goldfish tank is removed from the top of my fireplace. Tank is drained and ...
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Sent: Tuesday, July 13, 2010 5:10 PM This story is actually an ancient American myth used to provoke the boss to leave. ____________________...
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No matter how good or bad this lunch is, do not fucking disturb me during it. Yes, I understand that you have a pressing matter that needs m...
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It would be better if you didn’t do that. Seriously, stop it. I’m really not joking anymore. You need to stop doing that. OK, now I’m totall...
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How about a children's movie about animals? MATT ECKERT PRESENTS A CHILDREN'S MOVIE ABOUT ANIMALS 1. I demand that this be claymat...
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The Thoughts of the Porno Actor Oh, man. How long can I keep doing this? Jesus. OK, OK. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." Man, that really didn...
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2009
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December
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- Some Christmas Stories Retold
- Happy Holidays, You Guys
- Father's Day
- Things That Bug Me
- You Are My Noir Lover
- The Email Address Is Dead
- Jeb Bush Is A Serial Chubbernaut
- I'm Losing My Hair
- Bloody Condom Beach
- Wino World
- Arsenio Hall Thinking Test
- Still, I Hate Michael Moore
- When You Realize I'm Staring At You, You Will Unde...
- It Votes
- Because I Can Post
- Tell That Guy Next To You
- These Are Old Posts People. I'm A Different Man.
- At This Point You Should Probably Go For A Walk
- New Post From 2003
- Robert, You Need To Find A New Hobby
- God Is Gay, Burn The Flag
- Back When I Did Drugs Pt. 1
- Standard Practice
- Back When I Did Drugs
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- I Like Women Who Wear Lipstick
- Classic Larrington
- When You Say "I Love You" I Feel Like You're Being...
- Other Things That Happened On 911
- I Hate All Of You
- Ohmysorita
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- Handey Hack
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- I Want You On Top Of Me
- A Grand Piano Filled With Ground Beef
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- Letter from a Friend
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