Saturday, March 20, 2010


The Alien

"I'm virtually human. Really, I am."

The counterman at the 7-11 wasn't impressed with my assertion that I was near human.

No, he wanted money for the shitty coffee I was buying.

It still amazes me why anyone wants money for anything. Hell, come to my place and you can have the quart of milk, bacon bits, and margarita mix that are the sole property of my fridge.

I guarantee it.

But, this man wasn't about to listen to my useless excuses on why I was "almost there" to being human and understanding your weird, vagrant ways.

In all honesty, you are a repulsive civilization that I have decided to let live.

That's right! I've been on this sphere of syphilis for 2000 decades and have been waiting to unleash my dark matter upon you.

Luckily you have pissed me off so much lately that I have my chance.

The problem is you bastards copy wrote the name "Dark Matter" and I have no way to communicate my "or else" demands.

Apparently "Dark Matter" is a porno movie that has nothing to do with how much I hate each and everyone of you.

So, I'm screwed.

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