Saturday, March 20, 2010



You know, a long time ago being crazy meant something. Nowadays everybody's crazy.

- Charles Manson

What the hell is nuts, really?

Shit, turn on any one of the "reality" shows that are on and there's a good chance you'll find at least half of them nuts.

But, is that the norm? Is that reality? Is everyone nuts; even more so than a hundred years ago?

One hundred years ago a good percentage of the population couldn't vote because they weren't white or because they had a vagina.

That's pretty nuts.

36 years ago we sent astronauts to the moon, using enough money to feed the entire planet for a few years, only to plant a flag and show the Russians we had a bigger dick.

Fucking nuts.

Two years ago our current president decided to do the same thing within the next ten years.

Na nah nah nuts.

If a stranger came into your house and told you how to run your family and your life you'd think they were fucking nuts. Yet, Oprah and Dr. Phil are up inside American homes preaching simple lessons and generic remedies everyday.

Noo noo nah neeeeee nuts.

Could the norm be nuts? Could Manson be right?

Manson was a tyrannical kill-boss who used freaked out sluts to pimp white supremacy and bad acid to a generation of folk dancing love-iners.

Got nuts?

But, yet, when the President fires missiles that are worth enough mullah to pay off the deficit five times over at a comparatively defenseless country over lies, we don't bat an eyelash.

Not only that, we don't call racist on him and his cronies for using the last fifty years to bomb the shit out of every country that isn't white.

The last time we bombed a foreign nation full of Caucasians was when Hitler had a hard on for world supremacy. But, we only got into that war because of the Japanese.

So, homicidal – check, racist – check. What separates Manson from Bush? Or Reagan, Clinton, Nixon, on and on.

Should we free Manson and give him a State Department job? Secretary of the Interior?

Look at Dahmer. Maybe the most vicious serial killer in the history of man. Why? Cause he ate his victims and subjected them to torture. Good lord, I just ate a pizza with meat that came from an animal that probably spent five years stuck in a meat chute feeding on the shit from his brother ahead of him.

Now, I don't have any vegan agenda and I'm not going to stop watching war flicks or something, but, shit, is the world just endless hypocrisy?

If so, we're all nuts thinking that we're not contradicting ourselves.

We deplore violence and yet we buy it en masse. We watch Matrix, plug in to 50 Cent and play first person shooter games and then we're sickened at the idea that US soldiers are being dragged through the streets of Fallujah, shot and burned to shit.

Do we have some primitive need to KILL! KILL! KILL!?

If so, why the charade? Why not go back to the caves and maw open the neck of a rabbit and beat our brothers with the bones of the dead?

Maybe not. Maybe this is evolution and we're on the cusp of flipping from hypocrisy to truth and the Age of Aquarius will give rise to global love the likes we haven't seen since "We are the World."


Hell, you're not going to stop sex anytime soon, and if any of you have seen a porno movie lately...there's some violence.

Which one of you out there, who still has a sex life, hasn't used some derogatory comment while pounding their body on another?

If sex didn't instinctively turn us on, it would look like the most primitive meat circus man has ever accomplished.

Yet, we crave it. And when we're not in the mood for it, we feel guilty that we're not sexy enough. I'd say half the time you're having sex you don't really need it. You don't want it. You're pleasing your partner or pleasing your ego.

Test tubes?

Shall we kill the instinct and make children from test tubes? Save us the embarrassment of acting like chimpanzees on Jane day?

We kill and we fuck and we deny it and that makes us fucking bonkers.

Our "advanced" brains reject our primitive side and flip a polar switch that turns us from "that guy reading that book" to "that guy who just raped that jogger."

When we sober up and look back on what we did, we find that our intellectual mind just can't fathom the fact that we just blew a wad all over our wife's face. Or that we just watched a man beat the shit out of another man on pay per view.

Fucking no way. We've been trying to have it both ways forever and we've never resolved it.

Is the honest man, then, the killer?

Or is it the man who denies himself the kill?

Test tubes and daisy chains may rule one day. It's possible.

Maybe fire our personalities into computers and search the universe for pure logic. Maybe shoot up pure acid and search for God in rooms on the moon, with no skylights.

Random, aimless searching.

Does curiosity separate us from the animals? The nuts?

Is being nuts not enjoying the simple pleasures? Is it some sort of thrill seeking that always ends up with a crowd of onlookers throwing stones at you?

Is it cool to be nuts? Did being nuts create books, music, art, STAR WARS?

Maybe we should elect a government of the insane and see what happens?

Go primitive, go intellectual, go nuts.

Maybe on the other side of nuts this all gets sorted out. Is there anyone who has made it to the other side? Is it death?

Considering the fact I still can't look at a picture of Britney Spears without imagining my dick between her tits, I'm sure I'm nowhere near.

Considering the fact that every time I see a picture of Carl Rove I want to punch him in the face, I'm sure I'm no where near.

I'm a fucking monkey with a dick and it's driving me nuts.



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