Star Wars

Ronald Reagan got the idea for Star Wars from a B movie.

- Jesse James was a transvestite pharmacist.

- Smoking weed will give you syphilis.

- Eating any Kellogg's cereal can replace brushing.

- Your car could blow up any minute, at any time.

- If you find a lost child, make sure and have it neutered.

- Drinking two beers a night does not make you an alcoholic.

- Drinking two beers at night, at high altitudes, is a sure sign of alcoholism.

- Drinking one glass of wine a day will prevent judgment; when that day comes.

- I have a pocket watch, two pink lighters, a cell phone, and keys in my pocket.

- Saccharin is a made-up word.

- Graphite means "eat with a fork" in a made-up country in a thirteen-year-old's made-up story about these robots that live on Mars and have trouble teaching their human masters to not eat with their hands.