Monday, November 2, 2009

Comment Hungry

Feel free to use any of the following to copy and paste into other blog comments sections:

I really enjoyed your blog, but please don't kill yourself. The world needs vampires too. I wish I knew what you were going through, being so gothic and desperate. If only someone could understand you. I really enjoyed reading your poetry it's very well thought out and well written. I hope that you find the peace on this Earth that you only long for in death. Just fucking kidding. Do us a favor and end it.

Hey, I really enjoyed your humorous blog. Here's a link to my blog (enclose link). Please read my blog and let me know what you think because I need the random encouragements of strangers to continue writing or else I'm going back to using this thing for porno.

You spelled (insert word) wrong. Oh, and you suck.

Not only are your predilections wrong, but also based on fiction. Your (political group) has been whining about this issue for decades and have done nothing about it. Now, if you look at the current issue of (Slate, New Republic, Wall Street Journal) you'll notice that even (Ann Coulter, Al Franken, Tipper Gore) accepts the fact that (a child has a right to live, the deficit is out of control, Kentucky Fried Chicken tastes like shit). So, next time you go off on a rant, please research the topic.

You are sooooo hot. Email me at (insert address). I live in your area and would really like to get to know you. I'm so (hard/wet) just looking at your pictures. Please email me. Please?

Alright, that's it. No more internet for you. So, I'm being unfair grounding you for two weeks just because you were smoking a joint? Listen, buster, you're lucky I didn't ground you until the next ice age. Oh, and don't think that I'm going to disregard the admission above that you were drinking my wine again. Real slick. I guess you didn't think your mother knew how to use Google. Well, see you downstairs, I'm calling your coach and someone will be sitting out of practice next week as well. Love, mom.

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