Sunday, November 1, 2009

A Seabed of Delicious Cheese

A Seabed of Delicious Cheese

Come with me to the seabed. The Seabed of Delicious Cheese!

Oh, the wonders you will find as you caravan down in your ape-like processions scavenging about for my delicious cheeses.

You will find the 2833 Wonders of the Word: like my pet rectum with his dinosaur bone necklace. It's quite a feast for the eyes. I named him Boris and he enjoys the best quality TV, ABC has to offer. He'll engage you in rapture as he tells you the stories of fellating Twinkie cakes.

Oh, the morsels that fall from his mouth.

Next up on your adventure, you'll run into the scandalous Wayne Gretzkey's box of tacks. That's right, the Great One left me this special box of tacks, with special powers: BEHOLD! You are now red.


But, let's not forget the Turtle of Despair. What's that you say? "That's a pelican dressed as a turtle"? Well, good fool, you are correct in one way: it is a pelican – but because of his turtle garb, he is now the Turtle of Despair!!!!

Here's a riddle: what's green and red all over? If you said a bloody Godzilla figurine you'd be right! It's a little keepsake from my trip to the Netherlands. But, don't ask me how it got bloody.

For it is a secret!

Let me let you in on another secret: there are no rules of punctuation on the Seabed of Delicious Cheese. That means you can riot in language...and linguistics.

Oh, yea, hear me ROAR!!!!!!!!

Let me take your hand now to my dominion and we'll watch Silver Spoons. I have all four seasons on DVD – my crowning achievement.

Well, now that you've experienced life under the sea – ENJOY THE CHEESE, EARTHLING!!!!


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