Sunday, November 29, 2009


Arnold Plebus

Arnold was busy in the garden, selling mustard to the small the children getting home from school.
"They are tiny packets of good luck syrup, that will make you grow into all-star athletes. Children, children, please believe me on this one. This is not the time to start bringing up the asbestos sandwiches I sold you last Halloween."
Arnold was quite a showman, and he regaled the children with his "feats of danger." In doing this, he brought children from miles away to buy small, individual mustard packets from him.
"Children! The first feat of danger will now commence. Now, may I ask for a volunteer? Yes, you kind, sir. What is your name? Timmy! Yes, Timmy will now commence the first feat of danger. Now, Timmy, what I'm going to ask that you do is CLIMB THIS RICKETY LADDER!"
And, with that, Arnold pointed at Slip n' Slide he had taped to his house and painted rungs on.
As Timmy grabbed plastic fist after plastic fist of Slip n' Slide, Arnold sold more mustard.
By the time Timmy got to the second floor window, the Slip n' Slide fell, leaving Timmy motionless on the ground.
"AND NOW! Our next feat of danger: Take the wrap for Timmy's demise!"
The children scattered and Arnold was left with his mustard packets and 7.87 in mostly nickels.

"Timmy? Hey, guy? Are you alright? C'mon, Tim. Come back to me."

Arnold then did what any man would do in his position: he ran. He ran as fast as he could down the street. Past the Green Grocer, the Red Hen, and the Church of Latter Day Saints.
Arnold made a stop at the church, where he asked if it was possible to bring Timmy back to life with jumper cables and Holy Water.
After sending Arnold on his way, the Deacon...or whoever runs the Church called the police.

Arnold was just in time to be apprehended by the police; otherwise, he would have shocked Timmy beyond all recognition.
Again, Arnold found himself in jail.

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