Monday, August 9, 2010

Chocolate Milk

I Hate Grown Ups who Drink Chocolate Milk

Yeah, I guess I'm prejudice, I guess I generalize, but I really think this should be a rule of thumb.
Every time I see someone drinking chocolate milk, and they're over 18, I think to myself I hate them.
Is that wrong?
I make this judgment by using five people I dislike as proof, and they all drink chocolate milk.
They're usually religious, too. It's like this thing where they don't drink or smoke, but they allow themselves the indulgence of chocolate milk.
No soft drinks – chocolate milk.
And you know how chocolate milk is all curdly and makes the breath smell like anus.
C'mon, give in to your hatred – you hate adults who drink chocolate milk.
I know every morning you come in, and every morning there is that one guy (it's always a guy, never a girl) who is drinking chocolate milk.
No coffee, god forbid – chocolate milk.
Dude, if you're drinking chocolate milk right now, and you're old enough to vote – shoot yourself. Seriously. Commit suicide, I grant you a pardon.
OK, OK, don't kill yourself, but stop drinking chocolate milk. But, beat yourself with your keyboard first.
I don't like you chocolate milk people.

Jonathon Larry

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