Sunday, August 8, 2010

Rock n Roll Swindle

Heil to the Chief

The Stranger has an awesome cover depicting places to go get smashed to drown out this awful, awful day.

Oh, check out for a real life picture of a brutal headshot of a suicide bomber. I'm really surprised I haven't lost the fries and salsa I ate last night.

Well, all honesty there'd be nothing all that much progressive with a Democratic win either, so I don't know what the hoopla is all about. We'll be cavemen until we get rid of the South and the two-party system.

I had horrible dreams last night...well, not all horrible, just too many of them all at once. I kept waking up.

In no particular order, and I think they ran into each other:

1. Something about only the blue states being attacked by terrorists. This is something that does always piss me off. It's like these douchebag Al Queda fucks are so up their own asses that they always attack the states that are more liberal and progressive and therefore more likely to say "yeah, let's get the hell out of that Mid-East hellhole."

2. Something about communications. Like, there was all this communication equipment – satellites, TVs, something about UHF and then all these signals running through my head. Yep, I'm finally tin foil hat crazy.

3. Something about just missing Maynard Keenan, Kurt Cobain, or Krist Noveselic at some bar.

4. Going to some bar and it was some special event and they gave out 50 Deutch Marks to Scott and I.

5. Something about walking near a fence and there were tall trees behind it.

It could have been worse. Here are five dreams that would be worse:

1. Meat rabbits attacking me.

2. Anal sex with Henry Kissinger.

3. Cleaning Rush Limbaugh's rectum.

4. Those swamp things from H.R. Puff n Stuff coming for to get me.

5. Ex coming back to visit.

Good lord! The last one is happening!

Yes, there are only three women I've actually been in love with and one of them is coming back from Ottawa for work.

I probably won't run into her, but just the idea she's in the area bugs me.

Other things that bug me:

1. Coming down off cold medication.

2. Work functions.

3. Assholes being inaugurated.

4. Long lines at coffee shops.

5. Distributing company newsletter.

Sweet Jews for Jesus! Just today all three of those things occurred.

On the bright side, I'll probably have leftovers (company function – Las Margaritas) for dinner tonight and won't have to eat French fries and salsa for dinner again.

Yes, I'm broke. Well, until Friday. Then, I'll be broke again on Sunday.


Bills and Saturday I'll probably be going to see a


Three weeks ago, Weisberg calls me and invites me to go see a Led Zeppelin cover band.

Now, tell me if I'm wrong, but is three weeks a bit much on the notice for a cover band? I mean, if it was Nine Inch Nails or something, I could see the prior notice...but, a cover band. I figured it was the weekend he called me.

Anyway, he's been talking about it for three weeks like it was Jimmy, John, Robert, and....John.

Not only that, he pissed me off, cuz I'm on the phone with him and the manager of the Sevi comes up and tells me about something with the parking.

Well, Chris yells "Me love you long time!" through the phone.

The woman is Asian.

I nearly killed him. The funny thing is, he had no idea who was at the door; he just has a knack for knowing when the most inappropriate time to do something is.

After she left, I made Chris shout it through the phone again to make sure it wasn't audible.

It wasn't, but I think I made an angry face when he yelled it and I think the manager might have thought I was making it at her.

Conclusion: Chris is a dumbshit.

Oh, well. Nothing else interesting. Have a nice day.



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