Wednesday, August 18, 2010


I Completely Screwed up my Lunch

Man, what a crappy start to the middle of my day.
So, it all started with the first big mistake: following what the Guy Who Sits Behind Me did.
See, the Guy Who Sits Behind Me ordered a burger and fries. Well, I thought, fries seem like a good idea – I'll go get some fries. So, I go over to the other cafeteria (some people call it a deli, I call it a cafeteria) and I decide to get a burger with my fries. Well, the douche (and I knew he was going to be a douche just by how inanely friendly he was) forgets to take my burger out of the cheese melter. Then, they throw another on, and I realize that they are burgers that they made beforehand and just warm up. Then, I get the burger and the fries are nasty looking – they have that frozen-too-long look of Burger King fries. THEN, I'm dumb enough to put relish on my burger, not realizing that it's hot dog relish, not burger relish.
There is a difference.
So, this meal of garbage cost me 4.10. Then, I get back to my building and find that some meeting had a bunch of pizza leftovers. So, I coulda eaten for free.
See, just when I try to be reasonable and think that everything the Guy Who Sits Behind Me does isn't all annoying, I get fucked again.
Damn him!
Oh, here's a top ten list of phrases the Guy Who Sits Behind Me uses that make me want to rip his lungs out:

10. It's all good
9. Outstanding
8. How does that grab you?
7. No, thank you.
6. Check this out.
5. I caught a bug! (computer bug. But it's normally just a typo in a program)
4. I'm passionate, hyphens, bon jovi, etc.)
3. Presumably
2. I'm a huge fag and I like to eat other men's buttholes (not really, but I'm sure he thinks that a lot)
1. Sorry (with a Canadian accent. He's not Canadian. He's just an asshole)

Well, that's it for now.

No comments: