Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Win Big Money

Keno tickets.
Soon, we were back at Battleship, where we summarily lost another twenty apiece.
It was looking grim, and we had only wasted an hour. Which sucks, cuz unless you want to blow another fifty, you're going to have to leave. And leaving after only an hour doesn't justify the trip out to Auburn.
So, I bit the bullet and pulled another forty bucks. I was on my third beer, and figured I had another two left in me before I would have to leave.
I decided it was time to start thinking strategically. What machine gives me the chance to pick my own way of losing?
And then, staring me in the face was a Keno ticket I had just lost on.
"Of course!" I shouted to my fellow patrons. "It was Keno all along!"
But, not the regular Keno, no, it was the slot machine version.
I quickly shoved twenty bucks into the machine, picked some numbers and awaited destiny.
With ten credits left out of forty, I began sinking further into the vinyl chair. I had smoked three cigarettes and the beer was tasting like bitter defeat.
I began rallying myself for the inevitable departure. I did not want to repeat the New Year's episode of 2001, where I lost a grand in some horrible carnival, circus-land casino at Baker.
No, I was ready to leave, 70 down. Josh came by and showed me the Sympathy card the Keno woman had handed him, the drunk next to me was eyeing my machine like a vulture, and the beer was almost drunk.
It was endgame.
I sighed, and bet another credit, just to get rid of them.
I just kept blindly smacking the "spin" button, hoping that this would soon be over.
Then, on credit seven, I hit.
I cashed out and I quickly gave Josh $50 (when you gamble, it's you against the casino. If you're with friends, it's both of you. You need to establish a system where one guy wins and you all win.) Then, I instructed him to order us two beers, and two ten-dollar tickets.
I won another fifty on that ticket and promptly left.
It was an amazing day, and I thank the lord for his providence.
Blessed art the machines that dispense gems and gold, for they are the machines that keep us occupied as we continue to lose.

But, not that day, my friend.

So, that's my heroic story of courage in the face of immense obstacles. Some would call me a survivor, a hero. But, you can just call me Matt.
Feel free to pass this story of inspiration on to others. For, the world is yours if you just learn to work for it.

God bless,Horace

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