Monday, August 9, 2010

Night on the Town

Night on the town

Well, Friday I stayed in. I went home from work early with a headache (actually just wanted to do some grocery shopping and pick up my dry cleaning).

The next morning, I woke to absolutely no snow. This was a terrific bummer. I wanted to see snow and was denied. It's all right, though, things panned out.

With no snow on the ground, I grabbed coffee and made my way out to Josh and Monica's. To my surprise, the Kent area was littered with snow. Not to mean there was a lot of it, but just about enough to cover all the litter.

There I watched them hang pictures in their bathroom and talked about the previous weekend.

One funny thing was that Monica told me her friend, NAME WITHHELD, is dating her brother and that the only thing they've done is kissed.

NAMEWITHHELD is the woman who whispered "Take me from behind, in the ass" to me in a humiliating bathroom experience.

I guess she's different when she's actually dating a dude.

After Josh's place, I headed back into the city. There was a Seahawks game, and I was planning on meeting my sister at Jillians.

Well, Ross had called earlier, and I didn't get the message. Ross was down at Hooters – big surprise, and wanted me to meet him.

So, I walked down to Hooters and watched the Seahawks humiliate themselves.

After that, Ross and I went back to my place, had a beer and set up a blow-up bed for him to sleep on later, as he was already five in.

Then, we went to The Garage to meet my sister and her friends.

We didn't stay long (2 beers) at The Garage, and most of the time Ross and I pretended to be country club snobs for no reason.

After that, we went to Shorty's. Shorty's sucks. Seriously, I hate that place. It's a Coney Island themed bar and that doesn't stop the sucktitude.

So, in Shorty's my sister brought up that this girl, NAMEWITHHELD and I were supposed to have been set up. Well, she has a boyfriend now, who had just left. So, I started drunkenly hitting on her.


So, there's this guy who works behind me that uses our microwave constantly, and therefore is always over my shoulder. It's really reminiscent of The Guy Who Sits Behind Me. Also, this microwave guy has tattle tale written all over him. So, there's that...

Onward. The girl invited me to go play pool with her, so I'm thinking I'm in. Then, her boyfriend comes back, I've got my arm around her....let's just say I left after that. It would later be explained to me that this girl doesn't want to cheat on her boyfriend, she just wants friends. Who the hell wants friends?

After Shorty's, Ross and I went to Bada lounge, where I immediately went into idiot mode. The first victim was some dude from New Jersey, and I honestly don't remember what the gag was there, except it had something to do with pool. The next gag was the VIP room. I walked in and began telling all of the people in there how important they are and then went around asking for autographs. Like most of these jokes, towards the end the people weren't laughing any more. Then, it was onto the DJ booth, where I kept demanding that the DJ play Lionel Ritchie. He wouldn't, even after I told him what a breakthrough musician the Ritchie is. We yucked around there, Ross stole someone's plate of chow mein and then we happened upon a bachelorette (for some reason I can't spell check this) party.

She was letting you suck cough drops or something off of her for a buck. So, Ross and I went to work. I concentrated on the breastual area and Ross went for the goldmine.

By accident, we followed them to Tia Lou's and danced the night away...well, as far as my nausea would hold.

Then, it was back home, Ross with a hotdog and me with a beer. We passed out and the next day I was awaken to Ross pronouncing "It snowed!"

And it did. But not that much.

So, therefore, kinda lame – no women, but it was funny in some places. Except the part where I was hung over all day.

So, there you go.



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