Monday, January 25, 2010

DO NOT READ THIS

For Women: Interesting Facts About that Stuff that Some Dude Just Blew on Your Face (IN LAYMAN'S TERMS)



You can have fraternal twins with two different fathers. That's right. Let's say you screw your black husband, and then cheat on him with some Asian dude. Your ovaries decide they're producing two eggs this month and your husband's sperm fertilizes one, and your lover fertilizes the other. Come the birthdays, you're husband will be scratching his head wondering why he now has a full Asian son.



Only around 10% of sperm are made to impregnate you. It's true. The others are blockers or warriors. It's like Alien. The blockers will jam your cervical canals in order to stop some other dude's sperm from getting in; these are the bastards with up to four heads on them. The warriors are even more interesting. They hunt other sperm from other guys. They'll bop heads and "smell" the DNA package atop a fertilizer's head to make sure it's one of its own. If it's not, it will bop it's head hard enough to release a cocktail of sperm poison into the enemy's head, thus killing it.



10% of the world population's fathers are not their biological fathers. That's right, this 10% are sired from some dude their mother cheated on their father with. So, if your father molests you, make sure you get a DNA test before you call it incest.



Sperm live in your body for five days. So, you're fucking some dude and you decide halfway into it you don't like him. You tell yourself you're getting rid of him as soon as fucking possible. Well, he's going to be around (inside you) for five days whether you like it or not. This is all the more reason to give head on a first date.



Your pussy will only hold so much spunk. It's true. But, what's even weirder is that your boyfriend will only blow so much spunk; in fact, only enough spunk to fill you up. So, you're doing your boyfriend for the first time and he blows 500 million sperm into you. Well, you get a wild hair and do it again a half hour later. Your body has rejected a good portion of the sperm in flow back, but it can fit another 300 million. He'll only fill you up that 300 million and so on. His body is biologically programmed to only blow what is needed to keep you jam-packed with his minions.



Women ejaculate flowback. Try it. Go into the bathroom the next time a dude has filled you up. Stand over the bathtub, spread your lips apart and let it go. It will come out like a gusher.



So, now that you know a few choice details about the wonderful world of cum, go get yourself laid.



Pleace,

Matt

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