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Episode IV: A New Hope On Monday I had an ugly moment. Hung over from a night of boobs and beer at Hooters, I walked passed the rag of polls...
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Wanna See a Dead Body? Dead bodies are falling off our President like lice. You have the ones wearing our flag, the ones firing at our flag...
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Ask me About Jesus So, I see this car out in the parking lot and it says "Ask me about Jesus." I thought to myself, "What is ...
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Can We All Agree that the World is Poop? "Absolution and a frozen room are the dreams of men below." - Ministry, Burning Inside Gr...
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Funeral Plans for my Goldfish 2001 Monday, June 7 • 10 a.m. PDT: Goldfish tank is removed from the top of my fireplace. Tank is drained and ...
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Sent: Tuesday, July 13, 2010 5:10 PM This story is actually an ancient American myth used to provoke the boss to leave. ____________________...
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No matter how good or bad this lunch is, do not fucking disturb me during it. Yes, I understand that you have a pressing matter that needs m...
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It would be better if you didn’t do that. Seriously, stop it. I’m really not joking anymore. You need to stop doing that. OK, now I’m totall...
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How about a children's movie about animals? MATT ECKERT PRESENTS A CHILDREN'S MOVIE ABOUT ANIMALS 1. I demand that this be claymat...
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The Thoughts of the Porno Actor Oh, man. How long can I keep doing this? Jesus. OK, OK. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." Man, that really didn...
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2010
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January
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- I Want to Lemon You
- Rolling Rolling Bowling
- Netflix Still Blows
- Neutrino Demolition
- Keep Smilin'
- Shots Fired - Shots Out
- That Keith Thing Again
- Edgar Allen Cheeseburger
- Homoshit
- Daddy Said So
- Levi Was Caught Last Night
- BodySell
- Brand New Legal Paper and Other Stories
- The Girls Call Me Ugly
- I Wish I Was Asian
- Some More Old News
- DO NOT READ THIS
- Jeremy Has Spoken
- An Unfortunate Post
- Daddy Didn't Give Attention
- This One Time Keith Pissed Off This One Chick
- Granny
- War Bad, Peace Good
- Dead Cat
- Enzyte Day One
- Cleaning the Soup
- Funniest Google I've Seen
- Yota
- Review of The Revenge of the Sith
- The Station Collapses
- Not Showing Up
- Uh....?????
- Please Take My Hand
- Sign Out
- Some Women
- Secret Language
- This Security Guard I Had Once
- Krauting2
- Soccer Balls
- Back in the day
- Coke Posts. Oh, Brother!
- FUCK IT! NOW I DON'T WANT TO GO!
- Tentative Bullshit. What the Fuck?
- What do you make of that?
- And You May Be Getting Deleted
- Just Throw It Away
- All Incensed
- We'll Go Out When I'm Bored Enough
- Annoying
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- Your Father, The Plumber
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- Waldo
- Staring Game
- Nachos
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- Another Pitch to the Producers
- Gossip, Girl
- My Movie Pitches
- Some Stories About Guns
- 2002
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January
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