Monday, January 18, 2010

Please Take My Hand

Please Take my Hand on the Adventure that is Yet to Be

Stunning! You look absolutely stunning today.
My name is Richard R. Kimbel. But, my friends call me Wolverine.
I noticed you in the cafeteria and I thought that I would introduce myself. I work in the money department upstairs.
You have not heard of that department?
I want to invite you out – on and adventure that is yet to be.
What, per chance, is this adventure – but I cannot say, I wouldn't want to spoil it for you, my sweet.
Will it involve champagne? Maybe.
Will you be wooed by my charm and brilliance? Absolutely.
Please take my hand and journey with me to yon lunch table and let me further explain.
I understand that your lunch break is over – but, please, let me break your lunch before you break my heart.
Yes, that is a tear, I am crying. You have made me cry, oh, please won't you let me explain myself and put all fear aside.
Are we not in the cafeteria of WellsFargo bank? How could I harm such as you whilst the prying eyes of bank clerks look on?
Do not tremble, just sit, sit, sit.
There you are.
Oh, you are more ravishing that I had ever imagined, nestling your arms opposite my plate of macaroni. Yes, macaroni – FOR TWO!
Oh, but I didn't mean to scare you.
Let me explain the adventure that is yet to be, while I spoon up nature's cheesy nectar.
Oh, my blessed. You are even sweeter than this dish of processed cheese and carbohydrates.
You are in my Chevy Nova, arms feeling upon my leatherette and waiting in anticipation for our destination.
Where shall it be?
Shall it be Taco Bell?
No, alas, you are far too beautiful for Taco Bell, and I get gassy with Mexican food.
No, I shall whisk you off to Jack in the Box, where we should feast upon hot –
Where are you going?!
Please don't go, for I am a humble man, but I contain a great heart, and when broken it falls to the floor like shards of a Mason jar.
Yes, yes, hear me out.
Perhaps you are not into the fine connoisseurship of hamburgers, perhaps I shall take you back to my mother's house and see if she shall let me use the stove after so long.
Yes, the stove is dangerous, but I am a dangerous man and I shall make you hot broccoli with cheese and soda crackers and maybe open a bottle of delicious Boone's Farm wine that I shall steal from my mother's –
No, not yet! Please, hear me out for only but another second.
Yes, have some macaroni.
Afterward, we shall adjourn to my bedroom, where I will treat you like the lady you are and not ask for sex, even though you owe it to me for the fancy meal I have –
Wait, no! Don't go!
C'mon, my love?
OK. You're funeral.

Does the WellsFargo café validate?
It does not?
But, I am patron?
But, I have given money?
Oh, you jest?
Oh, you jest very well. Have you ever seen an earthworm farm?
Oh, you will, you will....

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